-
Do you have a nose? Then use it!
Forget rubbing shoulders; it’s all about rubbing noses now. I’m assuming that you all have a nose, though I apologise if you don’t and this whole Eskimo Kissing thing is causing you distress. For those of you who do have these aforementioned facial appendages, I’d like you to utilise them in the creation of the…
-
The Eskimo Kissing Song
Mr Blobby, the Crazy Frog, Barbie Girl, the Cheeky Girls, Bob the Builder, ScatMan John, the Fast-food Rockers, and me. What a party that was! I list these names because they have all been involved in novelty hit songs. I have created (in my not so humble opinion) a novelty hit song, and in the…
-
Touch my nose, don’t be shy
I look around me. My palace is festooned with gold discs and trophies. A myriad of photographs adorn the walls. They comprise people of all ages, from all of earth’s countries. And all these people are engaged in the same activity. There are thousands of celebrity faces: Hollywood stars, pop singers, politicians, sports stars. There…
-
My Near-Ironic-Death Experience
I had barely arrived at the bus stop before an old lady approached me and began to talk to me about her cat. This seems to be what old ladies at bus stops do, or at least the old ladies at bus stops in Billingham anyway. I used to travel this bus route on a…
-
The Young’uns Podcast 109 (Tony Chestnuts is Fantastic)
The 109th Young’uns Podcast is available to download. This week: We play a track from the Young’uns new album ‘When our Grandfathers Said No’, which is released in September on Navigator Records. We also give an insight into the recording of the album. Our special guest is Rebekah Findlay; two songs from her new album…
-
Hey, I’ve Just Met You, and This is Crazy …
“Hey, I’ve just met you and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe”, declared Carly Rae Jepsen, just before I hastily retuned the radio. What exactly is so crazy? If I’ve understood her correctly: she’s just met a man who she finds attractive; on the basis of this she gives him…
-
The Wake Up call
I woke up in the morning with a spring in my step. At least, I’m assuming that the spring in my step was there when I first woke up; I obviously didn’t discover it until I was out of bed and engaged in the act of stepping. To be honest, the precise moment that the…
-
A Stroke in the Park
Dear Madam, I imagine that it is very unlikely that this blog post will actually reach your attention, but I will write this anyway in the hope that it might and so that I can offer you an explanation about the traumatic experience you faced in the Park last week. My intentions however are not…
-
From Chickens to Pelicans
I have been patronised by a pelican twice in the space of a week. “Say no more David, we know exactly what you mean, we’ve all been there”; only I doubt you do know what I mean. You are probably thinking that I am referring to an animal. But no, this is not your everyday…
-
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Download the audio version of this blog post here. This weekend saw me sitting in a pub with some friends hypothesising the etymology of the “why did the chicken cross the road” joke. There was a group of us, all men, and we had, before this particular conversation, been discussing proper men’s topics like sport…