Over the course of doing these Dollops I’ve received some great comments, many of which from actual genuine Dollop readers/listeners, but also quite a few interesting ones from people who clearly have never read a single Dollop and are merely spamming. Today I received a comment from a Guadalupe Kesselman – probably not The Guadalupe Kesselman, but you never know – who said:
“Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your weblog. You have some really great articles and I think usługi pielęgniarskie Warszawa, opieka pielęgniarska , pielęgniarka do domu, pielęgniarskie wizyty domowe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Regards!”
Immediately, it is patently obvious that Mr Kesselman has no idea what these Dollops are about. Baring in mind that the purpose of this project is for me to attempt 366 consecutive daily blogs during 2016, therefore I am hardly likely to request the services of someone else to write the blog for me, as this would completely make the challenge void. Mr Kesselman tells me that he has read my blog, “You have some really great articles,” yet still after reading the Dollops he still seems to think that he would be able to write for me. The Dollop that he commented on was all about The Young’uns’ experience in a prison. Somehow, after reading all about my folk band’s visit to a jail, he is still confident about being able to write for me.
I might be doing him a disservice, and maybe he would be able to effectively mimic my style , and write convincing blogs as if he was me, however I think this is very unlikely. He doesn’t really do himself any favours by changing language half way through his pitch. He starts out by telling me he’d love to write for me, and then, half way through his sentence, and just before he says what an asset he’d be to my blog, he suddenly goes into Polish. ““Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your weblog. You have some really great articles and I think usługi pielęgniarskie Warszawa, opieka pielęgniarska , pielęgniarka do domu, pielęgniarskie wizyty domowe I would be a good asset.” Even more odd is the fact that the English translation of this out-of-place string of Polish is: “nursing services,nursing,nursehome,nursinghome visits.”
However, he has included his email address, and so I thought I’d email him to make further enquiries, after all, he doesn’t seem to want anything else in return apart from a link to his website so it’s maybe worth a punt.
“Hi Guadalupe, thanks for your comment, and thanks for the kind words; I’m glad you enjoyed my articles. Given that you have read a few of my blogs, you will obviously be aware of the format and my style, and you will have no doubt gleaned various salient points which will help you write something that is in keeping with the kind of things I write about. You may wish to consult The Young’uns website to find out when we are gigging. This will help make your imitation of me more authentic and credible, as it will avoid you writing about me being somewhere else when I was actually gigging, thus blowing your cover. My readers are naturally very discerning and astute (hence their choice of blog), therefore it’s important to mirror my style as accurately as you can, lest our little arrangement should be uncovered. For this reason, While I appreciate your innovative approach to writing, transitioning mid-sentence from English to writing about nursing homes in Polish, I’m not sure that this would really suit the Dollops, so I’d be grateful if you could stick to writing in English if that’s OK? and no mention of nursing homes, unless you’ve got a punchline. Otherwise it might get a bit confusing and arouse suspicion. Also, it would be great if you had some jokes about WIFI enabled kettles, as my readers can’t get enough of that.”
I wonder if he’ll still be interested after receiving this email. I’ll keep you updated. Obviously if he does read these blogs, as he claims to do, then he will know that I am on to him and that I realise that he is a spammer. We’ll see what happens.