The Holland documentary is here

Coming soon: What do you think I might have said to the arrogant jockey who was bragging about making his horse race faster by feeding him ecstasy? But first …

As you probably know, I am part of a folk group calledThe Young’unsAnd for the last three years I have performed at a Maritime festival in a small Dutch town named Appingendam. We stopped doing ‘The Young’uns Podcast’ but we did say we would feature a few specials. Well it’s taken over a year to do our first special, but then doesn’t that only make it so much more special?

You can follow The Young’uns’ adventures in Holland in this documentary, which features recordings from 2008/2009’s festivals. There are live sea shanties, random interviews with Dutch people, comprehensive Dutch language training courtesy of ‘The Young’uns’ language school, plus we venture into the Dutch ghetto to experience Dutch gangster rap.

I was wondering whether it would be best to split it into a few parts, but in the end just decided to lump it altogether. You can download the lump
Of if you prefer to stream the lump (if that’s not too oximoronic a concept)

I feel I should personally apologise to the BBC and everyone involved at ‘children in need’ which is being televised tonight. I expect that you will have significantly less viewers now, due to the fact that they will all be listening to the Young’uns in Holland. I assure you that I did not intentionally usurp ‘children in need’, although the BBc might want to consider asking me to present the programme next time, to avoid this kind of thing in the future.

And now: What do you think I said to the very arrogant jockey who was bragging about making his horse run faster by giving him ecstasy?

I told him to get off his high horse. (yes it really is that simple. Perhaps I should start writing the jokes in Christmas crackers. Well my jokes are just as unfunny, although they are a little bit on the lengthy side, as the set-up to the joke goes for a whole paragraph. We might have to invest in bigger crackers, or maybe put the punchline in another box of crackers. We could sell the punchline crackers separately. What a great money making opportunity. People would have to buy the punchline crackers to get the end of the joke. I could take this a step further. I could make a really long joke with a number of punchlines and twists, so that people have to buy cracker after cracker. I would sell the crackers individually, and people would get addicted to the story of the joke, and keep buying and buying until the end of the joke was reached. Except, the joke never ends, and hapless, helpless cracker addicts are forced to buy Christmas crackers all the way through the year, long beyond Christmas time. Right I’m going to work on this idea right now! But as an extra treat for reading, I’ll leave you with one final joke/question that didn’t quite meet the cracker standard – in other words, it’s not lengthy enough.

A group of local scout members decided to go into business. Sticking to the scout ethos, they decided to set up a business that dealt with fixing broken car horns. What did they call the business?

I will of course provide you with the answer the next time I make a post, but in the meantime, enjoy the Holland documentary.

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