The Child who said Please

A child of about 9 has just got on the bus and asked for “half to the town”.There was a short pause where nothing happened, then the child added, “please”. Perhaps the child thought that the driver was refusing to act on his request until he added the “please”. This is what his parents might do, and he assumed therefore that the rest of society works in the same way. I thought I’d tell you about that little incident because it made me smile, just a little bit after a stressful day, and I thought it was a nice, cute thing to write about at the start of the blog. Also, I thought it might come as a bit of light relief after the posts about having sex with multiple bus drivers and swearing Satnavs. I know it was a very small observation and not particularly funny, and don’t worry, I’m not planning on basing the entire blog on this one tiny incident. Although, maybe I will, just for the challenge. Instead of writing about what I plannedto write about, I could spend this entire blog analysing and theorising about the child who said “please”, just to see how long I could go on about it for. I might even construct a whole routine about it and wheel it out at every gig the Young’uns do. The other two will grimace every time I start the story, knowing only too well (from months of painful experience) how it fails to illicit any kind of positive audience reaction. But that won’t stop me! O no! I’m not going for the populist vote; this is art! I’ve had an idea. I know where the child is sitting on the bus. I could follow him off the bus and observe his life and blog about it. This simple little observation could just be the start of an epic tale. This will require some dedication on my part, but I recon it might be worth it – for the story. I’m meant to be getting off a few stops before the town, but I could stay on the bus till we got to the town and follow the boy off. At least then I could find out if he says “thank you” or not. Perhaps the driver will refuse to open the doors until he does. Alas, I’m not prepared for this exercise: my batteries are running low on my netbook and I’m quite hungry after a day’s work. If only I was more prepared; but I had no idea that an opportunity as alluring as this would present itself. There I was, sitting on the bus, readying myself to write a blog post about something that – in comparison to this would have seemed mind-numbingly tedious – when this child came on the bus and said … well you know the rest. Sadly, I feel as if this task is going to be too much with the limited resources I have. My stop is approaching; well, the bus is approaching my stop to be accurate. I’m afraid I’ll have to let this opportunity pass me by. I’ve let you down, I’m sorry.I was wrong about this scenario not taking up an entire blog post, because it has. A very fat man has just sat next to me on the bus. He is squishing me into the window and I cannot move enough to write properly. So I shall leave this blog post here. Perhaps I’ll write my next blog post all about the fat man that is sitting next to me on the bus. I’m sure I can ring that out for a few hundred words at least. Stay tuned. Please. Thank you.P.S. The 107th Young’uns podcast will be upon you by the end of the week. Relax your shoulders and bend your knees.

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