Rather than men worrying about the size of their penis, the main concern now will be how much data their penis can store and the speed of the data transfer. Of course, we’d have to have a universal system in place in order for this to work otherwise it could get very complex. Let’s just say for instance some men are fitted with a USB penis that is only USB1 compatible, resulting in a rather slow data transfer in comparison to their high-speed USB2 counterparts. Plus let’s just say that a USB endowed man meets a firewire lady. The two would be sexually incompatible. I suppose there’s also the problem of which operating system to use. Windows? The last thing you want to have to do during sex is run to the main frame to press control alt delete and then wait to send Bill Gates an error report containing all your details about the night’s activities. If your sex computers fully go down (excuse the potential euphemism) and become totally unusable then it may be a little embarrassing to call up technical support. The last thing you want during sex is to have some technical support guy in India asking you whether you’ve tried turning your woman off and then back on again.
OK so granted, I’ve got a bit of work to do before this is fully implemented but give it a few years and I think we’ll have all the various issues ironed out. IN the meantime if any open source developers or beta testers would like to come forward to help this project then that would be great. We’ll even upload five free MP3 albums to your genitals for your troubles, o and what the hell, you can have ten free polyphonic ring tones too. We’ll even give you WIFI connectivity in case you’re in a long distance relationship.
Anyway, I better go and actually try and find this USB cable rather than wasting time writing this nonsense. Byeeee!
P.S. I’ve just realised reading this back that I might have inadvertently upset homosexuals. Fear not, my firmware upgrade will address your concerns, plus from now on I’ll insert connections at both ends of the body. I apologise for any offence and/or inconvenience my initial beta release may have caused. Phew!