You might think by the title of this post that I’m a bit too late to hark. Harking seems to be chiefly used at Christmas time. Personally I think that the word hark should be used more in everyday speech, and shouldn’t simply be wheeled out on one specific seasonal occasion. I see no reason why the herald angels should use the word “hark” and not I, therefore this is I David Eagle in 2010 harking with pride. I suppose people often “hark back”. The phrase “hark back” is used now and again, but did anyone never think to try harking forwards. Perhaps it’s quite painful to hark forwards. I’ll try a spot of forward harking over the next week and report back with my findings. O yes, I’m a pioneer, a trendsetter. This time next year we’ll be harking all over the place in any direction we jolly well please. I think 2010 should be the year of the hark.
Well, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve probably managed to increase the likelihood of coming up in internet search results for the word “hark”. If I keep writing the word hark over and over again, perhaps I’ll usurp the herald angels in the google search rankings.
Anyway, after all that I expect you’re all wondering why I was actually requesting your harking in the first place. Well I have very good reason to do so. Once more, after a lapse of a few months, my blog has once more risen to the top of the google search charts for the search query “David Eagle”. What’s more, my myspace radio page is at number two. This happened once before and I wrote a huge blog about it, arrogantly gloating about how brilliant and popular I am, only to be ignominiously instantly way down the charts the next day. But this time I think it’s for real. I really do. However I’m not taking anything for granted, therefore I’m going to do my very best to stay at number one. I’m going to try every trick in the book, but Tolkien doesn’t seem to have written much on the subject of googgle rankings. Hahahaa, you see what I did there? So my intention is to try and write a blog about something nearly everyday. This is kind of good news in so much as I’ll be blogging a lot more, however it does mean that I’ll be churning out a lot of inane nonsense, simply in a bid to maintain my google search ranking.
Another trick to increase the likelihood of scoring higher in google searches is to include links to other pages on the Internet. This apparently makes your website look more active and involved. One of my recent Christmas blog posts contained a huge amount of links. Unfortunately, I hadn’t planned on linking to anything in this post as I haven’t really got any cause to, but if I’m serious about being number one then I’m going to have to play hardball. Therefore,
“”here is a dictionary definition of the word “hark” for your perusal.
Please click on the link. It will probably help to make Google think I’m really popular and that people pay attention or “hark” to what I actually write.
I was actually going to write some more for this post, but I think I’ll save that till tomorrow. I mean I don’t want to use all my material in one go, especially if I’ve got to blog everyday to keep at number one. I think you’ve had enough quality material for one post. I’ll let you hark off till tomorrow.
Before I go though I’d just like to say how intelligent and attractive all the people who work for Google are. (There, that should do the trick.)
O, happy New Year by the way!