so then, here I am, back in 2011, with new, improved and even more original blog post titles. In addition to the innovative blog titles, you can also expect posts in 2011 to be written from a number of exciting locations, thanks to the fact that i now have a netbook as well as a portable writing device tailored for blind people which writes in Braille. In case you are a new comer to my blog (one of the newly converted – now that I’ve become the latest fashion -) i am blind; I’m not just some weirdo who likes to use blind technology because i get a strange kick out of it, although admittedly, Braille is rather arousing.
currently, the exciting location I am writing from is the x9 bus, travelling from Gateshead to billingham. But that’s not the end of the adventure, o no. I will then be getting on the 36 bus at billingham and travelling to Hartlepool, where I live. In fact, it is very probable that the majority of my blog posts will be written from the x9 and the 36, so you’ll definitely be wanting to save this site to your favourites list.
i am currently travelling to and from Gateshead five days a week, in fact, shockingly, i spend nearly 24 hours each week travelling on busses. Are you shocked? Thought so. A whole day a week travelling on busses. When i made the calculation, I was … well … shocked. I decided that i couldn’t afford to waist all that time doing nothing and that i should really do something valuable with my time on the bus. So I’ll be writing lots of blog posts; what could be a more valuable use of my time than that? its a good job I don’t have comments enabled for this blog, isn’t it? O yes, of course, you can’t respond. But if you could comment then I know you would all be writing, begging me to enlighten you as to why I am spending such a large amount of my life on busses.
In addition to doing the odd bout of freelance work, i had been looking for other work, unrelated to broadcasting and production. Until a few months ago, my attempts to procure such employment had been fairly fruitless; I seemed to have an uncanny knack of ballsing up job interviews. I once got an interview for a job in Wales. For the benefit of any blind people reading this post with a screen reader, or for those people listening to the audio book version – there isn’t one yet, but it’s only a matter of time– I’ll point out that this is “Wales” the country, not “whales” the mammal. I wasn’t applying to play the lead role in a crazy production of Jonah, alongside a director with a frighteningly overzealous passion for method acting. I wouldn’t want you to be thinking that. I thought I better clarify that, in order to avoid being attacked by blind animal rights activists
(that’s blind people who are animal rights activists, not animal rights activists who only feel duty bound to kick up a fuss about the treatment of bats, voles and suchlike). O, have I drifted off the point a bit?
Anyway, I attended a job interview in Wales. I was only in the room for less than a minute before I realised that my fate was already sealed. I didn’t do anything wrong, apart from not being welsh. As i opened the door and stepped into the room, I was received by a woman who greeted me in welsh. I was slightly flummoxed by this but thought it appropriate to extend to her a greeting in the English tongue. Alas, she did not share my sentiments. She muttered something which sounded rather derogatory in what I assume to be Welsh – It might have been Klingon for all I know – and tutted.
Question 1: “You have been asked to arrange a meeting for some of our clients based in South East Wales. Ideally the area you choose would not be too populated, yet would be easily accessable by rail and bus. As our clients might be staying for the whole week, it would be wise to book somewhere that has a range of varying attractions and leisure opportunities. Can you tell me your top 3 choices, and why you’ve chosen them? o, and it should be a place that doesn’t contain the letter y or l and yet is made up entirely of consonants. o and we want a place free from English scum, like you!”
I feel a bit ridiculous saying this, and I know its really embarrassing but: Welsh geography isn’t my strongpoint, in fact I’m more or less clueless. There, I’ve said it! I gave an unnecessarily lengthy answer for what was essentially, “i don’t have a flipping clue!” I was starting to get the niggling feeling that they might prefer someone Welsh.
question 2: “Spell the railway station Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, then recite it backwards to the tune of the Welsh national anthem”.
i’ve exaggerated ever so slightly for comic effect. (I hope it worked) but it was starkly apparent that they wanted someone welsh. She treated me with such distain; It was as if I’d defecated on a statue of SHIRLEY Bassey, Charlotte Church, Thom/Aled Jones, or one of her favourite and most revered Welsh icons. I didn’t get the job by the way.
So here I am, on the x9 bus, travelling back home from Gateshead after a day’s work. I may at some point expand on the full-time job I’m currently doing. At the moment I won’t go into the details about where I work and what i do, largely because you probably won’t find it interesting – although that’s never stopped me before – and because I like the idea that I’m leading a double life. I feel all mysterious and enigmatic leading this double life which has been aided by the work’s IT coordinator – clearly unaware of The Young’uns Podcast, the Southside Podcast, Davideagle.co.uk etc – registering me in the computer system as “Davis Eagles”. This means my email address is “Davis Eagles …”. I am also in the work’s phone directory as Davis Eagles, and if anyone external to work calls the main switchboard and asks for David Eagle, there’s a pause and then the caller is informed that no one of that name works here, although there is someone under the name of “Davis Eagles”. THIS error occurred on my first day. I notified the person responsible about it, but they didn’t seem to deem it important to reinstate me on the system with the correct name. So in the end, I gave up, and now everyone at work knows me as Davis Eagles. So i spend a third of my life travelling on public transport and a quarter of it existing under a different identity. I’m going mad. SOMETIMES, in a certain situation taking place outside of work, i might stop and think: “now, what would Davis Eagles do if he was here”; Well he wouldn’t be writing this drivel., that’s for sure
I’ve got a lot of exciting plans for this year. The big news is that the Young’uns podcast is set to make a return. The other big news is: so is the Southside Podcast! (no, only joking Alex.)
I’m also working on something completely different to what I’ve released on here before, but I think it will be a really fun project for this year. I intend to release the first episode in this new series next week, so all shall be revealed very soon. And now, having hopefully managed to stir at least a modicum of intrigue and excitement within you, I say goodbye.