Dogs Playing Poker

Today I received the following email in my inbox from a Johnson Komo. I’ve never come across such a name in my life but as the email ended up in my inbox and not the spam folder I thought I would open it. After all, it could be an admiring fan. It wasn’t an admiring fan (but I bet you knew that anyway). The email reads as follows:

“My Dear one,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into
business relationship with you. I got your name and
contact from the Ivoirian chamber of commerce. I
prayed over it and selected your name among other
names due to its esteeming nature and the
recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust
worthy person that I can do business with and by the
recommendation, I must not hesitate to confide in you
for this simple and sincere business.

I am Johnson Komo the only Child of late Mr. and
Mrs.Joseph Komo. My father was a very wealthy cocoa
merchant in Abidjan , the economic capital of Ivory
coast, my father was poisoned to death by his business
associates on one of their outings on a business trip

My mother died when I was a baby and since then my
father took me so special. Before the death of my
father on october 2008 in a private hospital here in
Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told
me that he has the sum of Ten million,five hundred
thousand United State Dollars.. USD ($10,500,000.00)
left in fixed / suspense account in one of the prime
bank here in Abidjan ,that he used my name as his only
Child for the next of Kin in depositing of the fund.
also explained to me that it was because of this
wealth that he was poisoned by his business ssociates.
That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country
of my choice where i will transfer this money and use
it for investment purpose such as real estate
management or hotel management .

Dear, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the
following ways:

(1) To provide a bank account into which this money
would be transferred to .
(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am
only 20years.

(3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your
country to further my education and to secure a
resident permit in your country.

Moreover, Dear, i am willing to offer you 15% of the
total sum as compensation for your effort/ input after
the successful transfer of this fund into your
nominated account overseas.
Furthermore, you indicate your options towards
assisting me as I believe that this transaction would
be concluded within three (3) days you signify
interest to assist me. Anticipating to hear from you

Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,
Johnson Komo.”

Wow! So things are on the up for me it seems. Sounds good doesn’t it? So obviously I replied. I mean, I know a good deal when I see one. I replied with the following:

“Hello, normally, I wouldn’t give emails of this nature the time of day
but for some reason I felt compelled to read this one. I don’t know if
you’re aware of this but some people send emails kind of like the one
you sent me asking for bank details because they intend to steal money
from people’s accounts. That is why I generally ignore such emails
however when I’d finished reading your email I knew that this was no
scam and that you were fully genuine. In addition, I found it easy to
empathise with your situation as we appear to share a similar story.
Like you, my mother died when I was young and five years ago my father
was poisoned because of his wealth and power. I therefore had no
reason to doubt the plausibility of your situation and felt a desire
to help in anyway I can.

You mention that you got my contact details from the Ivoirian chamber
of commerce. I am flattered that they remember me and recommended me
to you. When I was younger I would sometimes go to parties held by the
commerce. I particularly remember a very eventful and memorable fancy
dress party they hosted. I also remember with great fondness
attending an Ivoirian chamber of commerce orgy. Great days!

Anyway, to get back to the point, after careful consideration I have
decided to give you my bank details so that you can store your
father’s money safely. I will also arrange accommodation for you for
when you move to this country. I also have a number of contacts at
some prestigious universities across the country and so will therefore
secure you a university placement studying a degree of your choice.
All I need from you now is for you to let me know what information you
need in order to access my bank account. I also need to know what university
degree you would like to study.

Finally, I would like to offer my condolences to you. I know how
terrible it is to lose a father through poison. Did the person who
poisoned your father get prosecuted? If not, then I can put you in
touch with a lawyer friend of mine who I am sure would help you fight
for justice.

I hope to hear back from you soon.

Best regards


So, we’ll see what happens. Lucky me! Looks like I might survive this credit crunch lark after all thanks to my good buddy Johnson Komo.

After sending this email I had a look on the internet to see if anyone had written anything about this Hoax. There were quite a few websites reporting similar emails with almost identical wording to mine. I felt cheated, used, and to think, I thought Johnson was my friend. What about all those things he’d told me? He said he’d got my name from the Ivoirian chamber of commerce. It all sounded so convincing (even though he never actually mentioned my name once and kept calling me “dear” fore some reason). Anyway, I found an excellent website which deals with the subject of hoax emails in a very amusing way. Basically, they reply to these various emails under a comical pseudonym and string the scammers along for as long as they can. They even had an email very similar to the one from Johnson Komo. You can read how that conversation between scammee and scammer transpired
here. I also enjoyed
this one too.

Perhaps tomorrow will yield some response from Johnson Komo. I will of course let you know. In the meantime (while we wait) you can download a short sample from a radio show where I’m talking about the strange emails I get in my spam folder. As well as the obvious emails about penis extensions there’s also some unusual offers including a chance to purchase a DVD of dogs playing poker. The file is only three minutes long so you might as well
Download it. I mean, what harm can it do you? Exactly! Go on,
Download it!

Well I’ve kind of just thought of a dogs playing poker joke although I’m not really sure it works properly but you’re probably used to that by now so here goes:

Why did the dog keep losing the Poker game?

Answer: Because he kept getting a ruff deal!

What about:

Why did the dog keep beating the human at poker?

Answer: Because the dog had four hands and the human only had two.

Although you probably wouldn’t say that a dog has four hands – you would say four legs. Damn!

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