If today’s Dollop is a bit rubbish then you have the royal mail to blame. My microphones that I’ve been using to record the walking Dollops with broke a couple of weeks ago. Naturally, I Immediately sought to replace them, given how keen I knew you would all be to be back out with me, chatting to various eccentric Sheffielders. A couple of days ago I received an email from the Royal Mail informing me that the microphones would be delivered today. I decided to celebrate the microphones’ arrival with a much-anticipated walking Dollop, but alas, the microphones were not delivered. I then had to go out this evening, and have only just got back, at 1130, and I’m now having to quickly write a Dollop instead of releasing an audio one, as was my original plan. And so, if today’s Dollop is a bit rubbish (and if this first paragraph is anything to go by, it will be) then blame the Royal Mail.
We were in a curry house this evening. We were sitting on a corner table, and we noticed that tucked behind us was a laptop, and on the screen was Spotify, and the name of the playlist where the Asian music was being taken from. The playlist was called curry House Classics, and it was a public playlist that Spotify had curated. I’d have hoped that if you were running a curry house, you might have some ideas of appropriate music that you could play in your establishment, rather than lazily using a public Spotify playlist called Curry House Classics.
I also wondered how many other Indian restaurants on the planet were currently playing Curry House Classics. And are these songs truly curry house classics, or are they just popular Asian songs that have merely been thrown into a playlist? I might be doing the people at Spotify a disservice though, I suppose there might have been an extensive survey done of thousands of curry houses all over the world, in regards to the music they play, and the results were compiled into the Curry House Classics playlist. And to be fair to Spotify, they have picked some classics. They start things off with Maine Soch Liya from Tumsa Nahin Dekha, an excellent opener, I’m sure you’ll all agree Then follow it up with Sisile Mulaqaton Ke from Bardaasht – which let’s face it, was bound to be included – before hitting us hard with Agar Tum Mil Jao, from Zeher, of course. There’s a few curve balls on the list though: they opted for Tera Mera Rista from Awarapan, which I personally think is a somewhat weak choice, and Aye Bekhabar from Zeher, which would be all very well and good, but for some insane reason they plucked for the Lounge Remix, which is very uninspiring.
I wonder if Spotify have created playlists for other kinds of restaurants. ‘Now That’s What I Call Greasy Spoon Cafe,’ ‘Late Night Kebab House Hits,’ ‘Chippy Anthems.’
Here are my suggestions for a curry house playlist:
Tikka Chance On Me, by Akbar (Akbar, as in the Indian restaurant chain).
Korma Chameleon, by Kulcha Club (Kulcha is an Indian bread).
Tiny Dhansak, by Elton John, from the album, Mad Naan Accross The Water (Tiny Dancer is from the album Madman Accross The Water. I personally think jokes are much funnier when you have to explain them).
She’s a Naan Eater, by Delhi Furtado.
Get Chapati Started, by Pink (you might be wondering why Pink is a pun; it’s because a lot of curry houses often use quite a bit of food colouring, so that clearly works).
This Is The Closest Thing To Jalfrasy I Have Ever Seen, by Katie Me’lahoer.
Unfortunately, it’s coming up to midnight, so I need to publish this Dollop, meaning that we’ll have to terminate the fun here I’m afraid. Feel free to exercise your creative muscles and suggest some additions to my curry house playlist. Back tomorrow. Another day, another Dollop.