David’s Daily Digital Dollop – Dollop 185 – Sleep Blogging

Download audio version here

Belgium beer is strong. So strong in fact that it managed to thwart this daily blogging challenge. I’ve managed to publish a blog everyday for the last 183 days, but yesterday’s Dollop wasn’t published until 11am today. I only had the equivalent of two or three pints – the Belgium beer is served in small glasses – but its alcoholic content is so high that it’s similar to having about ten pints.

When I returned home last night, my plan was to quickly edit and upload the Dollop, however, the Belgium beer put pains to that idea. Within five minutes of turning on my laptop, I was a sleep. When I woke up, I still had my headphones on, and the laptop was perched on top of my stomach. At first when I woke up, I didn’t realise I’d actually been asleep. I immediately just continued editing. But then, within a minute, I was back asleep again. A few hours later I half woke up, and began to edit in my semi-sleep state. But then, after a couple of minutes my laptop turned itself off.

The battery had ran out, and I didn’t have a European plug adapter with me. At this point I knew that it was going to be late morning by the time I got the Dollop uploaded, as I was certain that the others wouldn’t wake up until late, and I would have to wait until they woke in order to borrow a European plug adapter. Ironically, even though I could no longer edit, I lay awake for the next six hours, unable to get to sleep. Eventually, the others woke up and I got a plug adapter, but they had slept in, meaning that we only had half an hour before we had to leave. I therefore didn’t have time to do much in the way of editing or to listen to the recording before I uploaded it. I would just have to hope that I’d done a reasonable amount of editing in my catatonic state. I finally managed to listen to the Dollop back a few minutes ago, and it seems as if, unsurprisingly, my addled state didn’t lend itself well to audio editing. So apologies to those of you who listened to yesterday’s Dollop; it was much longer than I intended it to be. When I return home tonight, I shall edit it properly, without the influence of Belgium beer.

I think though, what clearly came across in yesterday’s Dollop, in spite of the dodgy drunken editing,
is that the hilarity of my kettle-based observational comedy is still retained, even when poorly translated with Google from English to Dutch and then very badly read out by someone who doesn’t speak the language. That is how brilliant my kettle-based observational comedy skills are. Once I’ve edited the Dollop properly, I intend to send the recording to some international comedy agents, as I think they’ll be chomping at the bit to book me a worldwide tour, doing a ninety minutes standup show exclusively about kettles. I think you’ll all agree that the subject of kettles has been the standout highlight of these Dollops.

Even though yesterday’s Dollop wasn’t posted until today, the challenge is still in tact in so much as I’ve still written or recorded a new blog post everyday for the last 184 days, so don’t worry, yesterday’s blip will not result in me abandoning this project. Plenty more kettle-based observations still to come this year I’m sure. Tomorrow, I will tell you about my Belgium exploits this weekend. Obviously it won’t be quite as exciting or as hilarious as my kettle material, but I think you’ll enjoy it nonetheless.

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