This is going to be another hastily written Dollop, as
on stage at Warwick Arts Centre in an hour. I’ve spent the day doing loads of interviews, plus we did another of our free community events today in a primary school in Coventry. So if this Dollop appears rushed and a bit uninspired then don’t blame me, blame the BBC Radio 2 awards panel for having the temerity to vote us best group again. As a result, I was up partying all night, only got three hours sleep and have spent the day doing interviews. Plus there’s been loads of Facebook comments, tweets and messages to wade through. Whereas if we hadn’t won I’d have probably gone to bed a lot earlier, got a lot more sleep and wouldn’t have had all the congratulatory comments to plough through, nor would I have had to do any interviews, meaning my brain would be a lot less frazzled and I’d have time to actually write something decent. The Folk Awards judges really have no consideration. What were they thinking?
While it was great to win the award for the second year running, the true highlight was that the Dollop got a shout out. We were standing on stage, and just before our acceptance speech, as the applause died down, there was a shout from the audience of “give us a Dollop David.” I didn’t notice at the time, but listening to it back on the radio, it is clearly audible. The shouter is Irish Mythen, who’s supporting us on tour at the moment. I mean she’s probably just angling for a bit more money from us and thought that a Dollop-related shout out would soften me up.
I also had lots of lovely conversations with people at the folk awards who are Dollop listeners. There were quite a lot of people who were telling me that they listen everyday before going to sleep. I find it’s strange to think that there are people who hear my voice and enter my mind on a daily basis, and also that for some people, mine is the last voice they hear before they go to sleep. There were quite a few women who told me this, although none of them accepted my half-joking invitation to have my none-recorded voice lulling them to sleep, for the very reasonable price of their body, by which I am referring to their live body in a sexual capacity, in case you were worried that I meant that I intended to kill them, which would probably be a bit much, even for such an amazing experience as the one I was offering. But no, I am not a psycho; just a slightly creepy sexually repressed idiot.
I didn’t feel too rejected though, as it’s obvious that the only reason these female Dollop listeners didn’t take me up on my semi-jocular offer was because they didn’t want to distract me from recording the audio versions of the Dollops, which I was two days behind on. So they gallantly decided to sacrifice their night of unbridled pleasure with me for the greater good, knowing how bereft they and all the other Dollop listeners would be if they had to go any longer without hearing the latest audio Dollop. I would like to thank you all for being strong enough to resist, what must have been, the overpowering urge to succumb to the pleasures of the flesh, and thus allowing me to leave the party at 3am in order to record the two pending audio Dollops. You are truly amazing and inspirational women. I take my hat off to you; though sadly not my pants.
I also spoke to the winners of Best Duo at the BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards, Kathryn Roberts and Sean Lakeman. You may remember from Dollop 22 that I mentioned that they’d put a thing on Twitter declaring their favourite artists. Included on the list was Maddy Prior and other big names in folk. But right at the top of the list was my name, not The Young’uns, but just me, and they had linked to my twitter account. Naturally I’d assumed that they’d meant to write The Young’uns and somehow accidentally just tagged me instead, however I spoke to them both yesterday, and they said that they had deliberately meant to mention me, because they listened to these Dollops everyday in bed before they go to sleep. Well, at least, I assume they listen to it and then fall asleep. They just told me that they listened every night in bed. Whether they find the Dollops an audio aphrodisiac or not is none of my business, and to be honest I wouldn’t want to know. After all, it would be a bit of a kick in the teeth to discover that I was responsible for two people getting it on on a nightly basis, when me and my female followers are sacrificing our pleasure so that they can have their daily dose of audio arousal.
While it was really nice to hear that they were big fans of the Dollops, they sadly did not thank me in their awards speech. I’m sure they will next year, now they’ve listened to this Dollop and can appreciate the sacrifices that I and others make for them.
I have to go now, as I’m due on stage in two minutes.
You can listen/watch the BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards here Our speech is in the last half an hour. See if you can hear the Dollop shout out before we start talking.