The young’uns Podcast 104: Feet, fish, flirting, philosophy, fricatives and folk.

The new summer series of the Young’uns podcast is here:

This week, we speak to Michael Hughes as he gets his feet eaten by fish; Mike shamelessly flirts with a woman cooking bacon just to get an extra rasher; we attempt an interview with a none-moving statue; are the Young’uns gay? We reveal all – possibly to each other. Plus: an escaping infirm cat, stomach noises and top tips for perverts. “But what about the folk?” (Well, if you insist.) There’s also recorded material taken from the Young’uns at Hardraw, Liverpool and Peterborough.

You can download the podcast
here
or stream it
Here
or for you flash fans out there

Subscription options will follow soon, (such as downloading and subscribing to the podcast in Itunes) to follow soon.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Hang the DJ

In the first David Eagle’s Pick and
Mix
(which you can listen and download here)
I mentioned that I would write a blog post about some of my favourite DJ’s in an attempt to hopefully introduce you to some quality audio experiences and also so that you will no who to blame for my DJing attempts. So here goes.

December 2001: A trail came on bbc radio 1 that consisted of lots of different tracks all woven into one another and over the top of each other in a 30 second mix, advertising a program to be broadcast on Christmas night by 2 Many DJ’s called Hang the DJ. At the time, I’d never heard of
2 Many DJ’s, also known as Soulwax, but I was compelled to listen because of the trail.

That Christmas had the potential to be really depressing for me; in 2001 I would have been 16, and my dad decided that this meant I was now old enough to learn that he and my mother had been lying to me all these Christmas’s and that this Santa bloke who I’d been trying my hardest to be good for all these years didn’t actually exist?! Fortunately my disillusionment with life was tempered by the 2 Many DJ’s show.

It certainly didn’t disappoint. I sat by the radio and listened to the whole thing enraptured. It was the first time I’d come across the concept of the “bootleg) as it was labelled: Mixing the vocal of one song with the instrumental of another. Nowadays it’s common practise and has spawned many a pop hit but it seemed really innovative to me back then.

I remember my girlfriend at the time ringing me up to wish me a merry Christmas. She’d bought me loads of presents–a lot more than I’d bought her–and I am ashamed to say that rather than saying “thank you, merry Christmas” and engaging in conversation, I told her I was too busy to talk because I was doing something really important. I think she felt a bit put out at the time but I’m sure that if she’s reading this blog post now, she’ll willingly forgive me the transgression considering that “really important” thing led to the concept for David Eagle’s Pick and Mix which has obviously helped make the world a better place.

I recorded the mix on a couple of c90 cassettes. I’ve uploaded that original recording for you here. The whole mix is there, apart from the few missing seconds from turning over to the next side and changing the tape. I hope those missing seconds haven’t lost us some precious moment of genius, but I don’t remember thinking so at the time.

Click here to Listen.
Click here to download.
Or you can access the flash option if you’d rather stream it from this blog so you can enjoy listening while looking at the photo of my face.

I’ll release the next David Eagle’s Pick and Mix sometime this year but the main priority will be the Young’uns Podcasts, the first of which will be here by the end of this week / beginning of next week.

I hope you enjoy the mix. Listening to it again ten years later still brings me back to that Christmas, sitting by the radio in ore, telling my girlfriend to piss off … O the memories!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

110 % Pacific

I’m writing this blog post while pretending to be writing something else. I’m at a training course and I think the woman at the front doing the talking is very flattered and impressed that I am furiously typing notes about what she’s saying. She may also be quite taken aback by my furious note taking because she may be aware of the fact that what she’s saying is a load of bollix. In some respects though, I am making notes about what she’s saying because I’ve just made the observation that what she’s saying is “a load of bollix”. I’ve also made a reference to what seems to be the whole premise of her talk for the last ten minutes which is about the importance of being “110 % pacific”.

I’m confused. She wants me to represent more of the pacific than the pacific itself? But not just me, she wants everyone in the room to be 10 % more pacific than the pacific itself. Has she any idea what she’s asking us
To do? Firstly, she’s completely disregarded the makeup of our human bodies. To turn flesh, blood and bone into ocean is no small feat. Secondly, if we somehow did manage to make ourselves more pacific than the pacific itself then what about the wider provocations? Such a mutation would undoubtedly cause terrible damage to our planet: earthquakes and tsunamies galore”. I doubt many of us would survive such an ordeal; not that any of the pacific people would enjoy this form of survival anyway, knowing that we’d destroyed our friends and family and billions of other people just because of one errant, maverick woman’s baffling instructions at a team leaders’ training course.

When this training course first started it seemed fairly prosaic. Firstly, we played a game where we had to associate each day of the week with a certain temperature and colour. You could try playing this game at home if you like, although you may not get the full impact of the game because we were privileged to have a properly qualified teacher – sorry, learning facilitator (they’re not teachers apparently; they don’t teach us, they just facilitate our learning. At least they’re honest about the fact that they don’t actually teach us anything.) I’m not sure exactly what the purpose of the game was meant to be, unless it literally was simply to make me aware that my colleague Phill associates Monday with a dark grey -10 degrees Celsius, as opposed to Fridays’ golden 25 degrees Celsius.

We’re making people redundant left right and centre: policemen, army staff, council workers; massive household businesses are going bust, yet in spite of all this we can still find enough money to employ none-teachers to facilitate the learning of the tenets of team leading by playing a game where we associate days of the week with temperatures and colours?!

The learning facilitator has just announced that she’s handing out feedback forms so that we can give our opinion about the training day. Maybe I should write this blog post on the form. Of course, I won’t; I’m far too nice – or coward is – to do that. Besides, she’s quite attractive in an odd sort of way and I don’t want to scupper my chances of getting with her. I’ve been making little jockey comments all through the training course in a bid to impress her, but I don’t think she’s noticed. She doesn’t seem to register them as jocular comments, treating them as if I’m saying something serious, taking the comment literally and then making a basic remark in her cooing, patronising, bored voice.

There’s something about that voice though that intrigues me. She can’t sound that bored all the time? She’s fairly young, in her early thirties. She must get excited sometimes. Maybe I can excite her. She sounds so bored that during one of my many drifting off moments I started wondering about how excited she might sound during sex. Is that odd? Of course it is, I didn’t need to ask. I wonder if she’d still sound bored or if she might perk up a bit. I could do some role-play with her. We could sit in a room (that we pretend is a classroom) as she goes through her tedious, nonsensical training garbage in her bored voice. As time goes on I seduce her with saucy quips that relate to what she’s saying in the training. At first, she treats me with indifference and keeps going with her talk, but in time her voice begins to get a bit more excited as she becomes increasingly aroused. I continue to taunt her with more saucy witticisms as she attempts to focus on the material of the training course and revert back to the bored voice. But it’s no use. She can’t help herself. She eventually gives in to temptation and … Shit! I’m writing this on her feedback form!

What the heck? I’ve just come back to the reality of the situation to hear the bored-voiced woman telling us that we must be “110 % reliable. Hang on, does that make sense? We have to be 110 % pacific and 110 % reliable? I’m now 220 % confused; we can’t be both; that’s mathematically impossible. Or maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m on a course that’s just a bit too advanced for people like me with my primitive mathematical assertions and my inability to listen to the learning facilitator without fantasising about having sex with her.

Could this possibly be my most worrying (and perhaps most telling) blog post of them all?

If you’re still not bored of reading rants about training courses then
check out a previous post on the issue.
There isn’t any sexual content in that one so you can relax.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

I am the Milkman of Human Kindness

I was in the news agents the other day with a friend. (Not the most exciting opening sentence to a blog post but don’t be fooled, this story will be epic.) My friend needed to buy a pint of milk because he’d ran out of it and he wanted to make tea and eat serial and do other things that generally involve the need for milk (I told you it got more exciting.)
I waited for my friend in the queue at the counter as he went to get the milk. There were a few people in front of me and as we were in a bit of a rush – eager to get back to make tea and serial and do other things that generally involve the need for milk – we decided that I should wait in the queue while he quickly got the milk and then joined me in the queue with the milk. (A truly genius time saving master plan I’m sure you’ll agree. This blog is the place to come for time saving tips, although my best time saving tip for you would be that if you’re really serious about saving time then you should probably stop reading this time wasting blog.)

I heard my friend announce that he’d got the milk. This was perfect timing as we were next in the queue. This is when my blindness came into effect and thus an ordinary milk purchase got a bit unusual – teats up you might say, if you are the type of person who is sad enough to make milk based puns. I heard the shopkeeper say to the man in front of me, “So that’s one pint of milk”. “This must be Ben” I thought. I assumed he must have got the milk and joined me at the front of the queue. As I owed Ben a little bit of money, I decided that I was going to pay for the milk, so I said “I’ll pay for this” and handed the shopkeeper the money.

I then discovered that the man in front of me wasn’t Ben but a complete stranger. He made some kind of protestation in a very shocked voice. The shopkeeper, assuming that I was a friend of the man, accepted my money and handed the pint of milk to the man. The man went to protest again but his phone rang. He answers his phone and as he walked out the shop I heard him say, still sounding completely shocked, “I don’t believe it; the strangest thing has just happened to me!” His voice faded into the distance as he proceeded to tell his friend about the complete stranger who insisted on buying him his pint of milk.

There’s a very tiny chance that he’s reading this blog, but just in case he is I thought I’d provide him with an explanation of what happened. I thought you were my friend. Perhaps you should be my friend; you owe me a pint of milk mate!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

My Accordion, Toilet Story on Youtube

What an exciting bank holiday weekend: One royal wedding and a dead Taliban leader. And a new YouTube clip of the Young’uns performing live!

For me, a great Young’uns gig isn’t really about how well we perform musically because I’m always confident that we’ll do that reasonably well; it’s more about the bits in between the songs that dictate whether I feel a gig was great or not. In fact, one of my favourite gigs we ever did was one where I had a really sore throat and was for all intents and purposes unable to sing. So we just talked. It had the potential to be a really stressful and bad performance; I’d been gigging for the last four days and was feeling really ill. We had to stop some songs halfway through because I just kept coughing really loudly while the other two fruitlessly attempted to compensate and cover my coughs. But the bits in between the songs – which was about 90 % of the gig – were amazing. We ended up telling anecdotes about things that happened to us on tour and the audience seemed to love it, laughing hysterically. Nowadays this is how are performances tend to be, only with a bit more singing than in that gig, but that potentially hideous gig was a major influence on how we now perform.

Here’s a bit in between the songs that someone kindly put on YouTube. I was hoping to be telling this story all the way through the summer run of festivals, but I think the YouTube clip’s kind of buggered that up now.
So I thought I might as well help perpetuate its buggering up powers by putting it up on my blog. So here it is; some accordion related toilet humour.

Right then, I’m off to try and write this joke that’s been brewing in my head for the last few days. It’s something to do with Bin Laden and refuse collecting but I can’t tell you at the moment until I’ve ironed out a few of the finer nuances of my amazing joke. I think you’ll be very impressed by it though.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS